shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
