you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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