I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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