People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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