thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
