i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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