oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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