Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
