The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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