At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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