so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
