pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I cut my penus on the lid.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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