Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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