Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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