what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
