I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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