Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
