shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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