CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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