yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
