I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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