you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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