So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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