Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
