I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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