Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
