I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
