Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize