I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Are we still banned from the library?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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