I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
