guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he's gonorrhea incarnate
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
