it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
