I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
