there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
where does the pee come out of this thing
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
