She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
