guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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