your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
