No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
