Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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