Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
