How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You can't just leave with hair like that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
