im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
