I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
