I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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