Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
