Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
