I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
