Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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