Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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