Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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