It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
